Wednesday, January 30, 2013

A HAIR Raising Night


The year was 1979. It was the year where India’s biggest movie awards ,the “GILLETTE FILMFAIR AWARDS” (not to be confused with the other less famous one) awards were to be hosted. It will also be remembered as the year of ‘hair raising’ experiences.

As is customary with the awards, they are usually hosted by two of the biggest stars of the time & this year was no different! The mantle of hosting the mother of all award shows was taken up by two superstars  of the time, Amitabh Bacchan & Rajesh Khanna. Amitabh was the angry young man ofcourse & he began the show hurling abuses at the directors of all the movies that bombed that year. Somehow he seemed to take it very personally. As always, he felt that such movies were an insult to the paying junta. He then abused the audience for laughing when he was making such a serious statement. Nobody knew if he was still in character or truly angry. That was the power of the man! Just when it looked like things were going to get out of hand his co-host came in singing ‘mere sapnon ki Rani’ on a horse. Yes! It was none other than our very own Rajesh Khanna(may his soul RIP). He knew how to make an entry. Amitji shook his head in disgust. Rajesh Khanna immediately got onto the stage & tried to calm him down with “baabbuumushai just chill chill, Havell’s  ka panka hai na.” And it magically worked! The audience didn’t laugh because that joke was 30 years too early

They began the show & all the audience was mesmerized to see their chemistry on stage. Alas! Their eyes fell onto their shirts from which their chest hair was popping out from the top. Now everytime they spoke it was as though the hair had a life of its own!. It swayed to the right when they moved left & it swayed to the left when they moved right. And it swayed all around when they were standing still! When Amitji was announcing the guests to announce the awards for the best Newcomer Male, Mithun Chakraborthy sitting in the audience felt “I wish he had opted for his hair removal”  But it was too late.

It was now time for the item number to be performed. When Rajesh Khanna announced that none other than sexy Helen would dance to a remix of all the item numbers of that year, the audience were on the edge of their seats. Amjad Khan didn’t seem to care, after all Basanti had already danced for him inspite of Veeru not willing! Helen began with the 1st slow number. Soon the audience began screaming “Monica , Monica” and as if on cue, the song was played. Helen removed her detachable pants & revealed her sexy legs in a mini skirt. But Alas! Her legs weren’t shaved! To this day the audience present there don’t know if she had forgotten or just didn’t bother! The legs that were supposed to look sexy now just seemed like two amazon jungles! Rekha sitting in the audience sighed to herself “I wish she had opted for her hair removal”. The only person who didn’t seem to mind at all was Shakthi Kapoor.

The night went on, the stars came and went. Vinod Khanna, Sharmila Tagore, Jaya Bachchan, Mumtaz, Jeethuji, Rishi Kapoor. Some to collect awards & some to give. A young Rameez Raja sitting in the audience was impressed by all the ‘telented’ actors. He thanked BAL Thackeray sitting next to him & said “Thank you for giving me an opportunity to be hair(here) & represent the cricketing community of Pakistan”. Somewhere there a young Shah Rukh Khan was telling his little friends” I will become the best some day & host the show cracking vulgar hair jokes” Anil Kapoor was sitting in the audience with his top button open & the entire audience was thinking “I wish he had opted for his hair removal

The night was drawing to a close & it was time to a close & the final show was a romantic dance between Dharmendra & Zeenath Aman. A superman of the times & and the other a sultry siren.Both of them were mesmerizing the audience. He with his incredible machoness & she with her grace & oomph(a popular word back in the 1970’s) As she was dancing close to him she saw him smile, not that magnetic smile of his but a sad one.She wondered what could be wrong in his personal life/ Unfortunately her eyes fell on his tummy hair protruding out through his center button. It was long & curly & seemed to call to her. She could feel it say “Basanthi , in kutthon ke saamne math naachna “ She immediately cringed & thought to herself ‘I wish he had opted for his hair removal’. What she didn’t realise was that he was smiling coz he had seen her armpit hair & the camera close to it & he was thinking “I wish she had opted for her hair removal” coz all that hair was blocking his face from the camera.

The show ended with the two hosts thanking the main sponsores GILLETTE. The CEO of Gillette came forward & thanked all the stars & audience & told them that after watching the show he was inspired to bring a brand new product into the market. He didn’t tell them what it was & they wondered what it could be…. Luckily we know what he was talking about.

DISCLAIMER- This post is a work of fiction. All the characters mentioned here are fictional. The author does not mean to hurt anybodys sentiments as everything is written to be read in good humor

 This post is a part of the Gillette Satin Care Contest in association with

Questions are taken @Divineisyou

Im Available @RealFakeRyan

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Dancing into the Moonlight- my entry to the GetPublished contest

Vote here & help me get my story published -




The “other” guys

The Best Friend



This is a story of 2 doctors who met purely by chance. And their journey together as friends. “Can friendship turn into love” is a question everyone answers in the affirmative to. But what happens if you risk your friendship for your love. Is that a gamble you would take? And how do you deal with all the problems that come in the way of love? Some serious & some funny!


He twirled her around, held her close. He could feel her breath & smell her scent. The next moment he flung her into the air & got her back to the ground. He could see her enjoying, he could see her smiling. The music was smooth & tanatalising. He knew this was more than friendship, he knew she was the one for him.  But she seemed lost in the dance. She seemed to want to dance forever. Did she dance like this with everyone else or just him? H could never tell!

A year later-

They walked together , not hand in hand but close to each other. The sea breeza was smooth & refreshing. She seemed pensive. He was tensed. A year of being “friends” had gone by. He knew that the time to confess his love for her had come. But here in lied the eternal dilemma. Does he risk their friendship by being turned down by her or does he follow his heart & tell her about his true feelings. He could never tell

A year later-

He saw her walk down the aisle from a distance. His eyes were moist. He couldn’t believe that this was happening. She just kept looking down at the floor almost as if she was unaware that he was in the room. Maybe she didn’t know he was around,he thought. He wished he could run up to her & tell her what he felt, he wished he could dance with her forever right from this very moment. Could she hear his thoughts? He could never tell

Endnote: This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Shane Warne Adds to Another Cricket Controversy

Cricket they say is a gentlemans game but somehow that’s hard to digest. Because for as long as I can remember its never been a gentlemans game. Chess for example is a gentlemans game. That’s not to say that cricket is a slug fest involving monkeys, its good at best of times but definitely not Always

The latest controversy involving Shane Warne has again brought into the light the debate as to where the line has to be drawn between being aggressive & crossing the limits. The incident that Im referring to happened in the KFC Big Bash league, Australia’s own version of the IPL. Unlike the IPL this league doesn’t boast of the same publicity but involves some high class cricketing action. The individuals involved were Shane Warne(Yes he still plays the T20’s when he’s not advertising his poker games on twitter) & West Indian Marlon Samuels, another player who is no stranger to controversies. During the 1st innings Marlon apparently while bowling didn’t allow David Hussey to take a run by grabbing onto his shirt which is inexplicable! Even for club cricket. The videos the incident that you watch just amaze you into wondering as to what exactly he was thinking. That was done & dusted. But in the 2nd innings Shane Warne who always loves grabbing eyeballs took it a step further by abusing Marlon while he was batting , then throwing the ball at his body with the customary “F**k you Marlon”. Not the one to be out done Marlon hurled his bat towards Warne. Both have been punished with Warne even getting a match ban. All this in a tournament involving cricketers from around the world. When people anointed T20 cricket as “Masala” cricket I’m sure they didn’t expect so much mirch in it!

Cricket has never been stranger to such controversies. Infact these sort of incidents keep cropping up now & then. And Im not talking about the recent times only. Remember Dennis Lilliee kicking Miandad & Miandad charging towards him with his bat? That was probably one of the most disgraceful moments on a cricket fields. Sunil Gavaskar would probably say that the Aussie got away just coz the laws always favour non sub continental countries. For that matter even Navjoth Singh Siddhu had a major altercation with Aamir Sohail on the field where bats were pointed, tongues wagged. During the recent world cup SA’s FAF Du Plesis had a go at the New Zealand players. Another famous on field fight was the one involving Glen Mcgrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan. A lot has been discussed about Harbajan Singhs “Monkeygate” with Symonds & also his “slapgate” with Sreesanth. Why even the normally mild& unflappable Rahul Dravid got involved in a fracas with Michael Slater.

So why do these players get into such fights. A very common reason that the commentators(which you can even hear in the Shane Warne Video) give during such instances is that its coz these players play with a lot of passion & that they play with their heart on their sleeves. So the question is that can this be used as an excuse for a Virat Kohli to abuse every time he holds onto a catch? Worse still is that does it mean that the rest of the mild players like Dravid & Vettori or Misbah Ul Haq don’t play with equal passion just coz they don’t glare at the opposition or swear at them? Most of the times its just the antics to grab the eyeballs, none better than our very own Sreesanth. Another name that comes to mind is Andre Nel & who can forget that famous bat whirling dance Sreesanth did to annoy Nel. The one memory I have of contrasting notions about aggression on the field is during Indias tour to Autralia. Javagal Srinath bowled a bouncer to Ponting which hit his helmet as he was ducking. Srinath immediately raises his hand & apologises(which is not seen in the video I’ve posted) which he absolutely didn’t need to, and what does Ponting do? He begins abusing Srinath asking him to go back, one of the many reasons Ill never hail him as a great sportsman.

One would say that the cricketers of yesteryears didn’t indulge in sledging. Well that might be true but then how much proof do we have for it? Those were the days when there were probably 3 or 4 cameras in total on the ground. And not all the matches were telecasted live. These days atleast one of the 30 cameras will catch every minute antic of the player. Everything is scrutinied in detail. Today before you even know it, a tiny incident is blown out of proportion by the media. Players too seem to love to “play the camera” as they say. They know that millions are watching at home. Aggression has its place in cricket but it shouldn’t get out of hand. Everyone enjoys watching a bit of banter on the field. Who can forget the famous incident during the 96 world cup when Aamir Sohail after hitting a boundary off the bowling of Venkatesh Prasad asked him to go & fetch the ball, the bowler responded by getting him bowled next ball. That’s hair raising stuff, isn’t it? Also Javed Miandads antics with Kiran More will always be remembered in a jovial manner.It’s one of the reasons you’d watch the match over & over again! But do you feel the same when Sreesanth has a go at the batsman ball after ball or when the Aussie fielders & bowlers engage in so called “mental disintegration” of the batsmen?  So the line between being aggressive & rowdy is a very fine one. Things should never get physical in any sport but that is what has happened with the latest incident. What message do the youngsters who watch the game at home?

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

An Idea Born On Twitter

Its been a while since I last blogged. Unfortunately like everyone else I too caught the Twitter bug. After spending a month on it I realised what a fool I had been but at the same time I was happy to know that I was just one among the millions. We talk of distractions & waste of time, spending hours on twitter & Facebook is just that. Now that Im out of it, it back to blogging & reading with gusto. Its been a while since I blogged for something other than contests too! I don’t regret that coz there’s a brand new speaker set courtesy those contests in my bedroom.

But there is one thing that did come out of all that time on twitter though. So many useless contests aimed at making you spend hours on your desktop of phone, making you check every hour or so. The one which caught my eye was the one about “My dream App”. Though I didn’t enter the contest, I did get me thinking & reminded me of an idea I had about 3 years back.

Im no software engineer, not even close to it. But I do love getting into the technical aspects of it all or atleast read about it. And Im very much into Apps. One of the apps which I think would work is what I call the CAMFIND. This idea came to me back when Facebook had started “facetags”. Face tags have well & truly been abolished  but I think that this App can still be possible if some software techs take it up :-D

My concept of Camfind is simple. Everyone is into social networking these days. Earlier believed to be only for youngsters, now even the older generation is taking a liking to it. And why? Coz everyone wants to know someone new, keep in touch with them. Everyone looks up someone they don’t know on Facebook. Common friends, email search, name search, college search… You can search based on every possible field. So this is where this app was born.

Now lets assume you are at the launch of a new car alone, you see someone who for some reason has caught your eye. But you have no idea who the person is. You’re sure your never gonna find that person ever again. Then what if you take out your phone, go to the app & slowly focus the camera on the person & it instantly takes you to the persons Facebook or Picasa profile or atleast gives you his/her name! I know this is a huge breach of privacy but then if apps like True caller can do it, then why cant this one too. Since facetags are no longer in use, the CAMFIND App can set up its own facetags & the users who download it can choose whether or not they want to be tagged to be used with the app so the issue of privacy also gets solved. As it is, its supposed to just display the name of facebook profile so I don’t think anyone would have issues with it. Sometimes at a gathering you see someone who looks very familiar but you just cant place him/her, App can solve your dilemma immediately. I dont know how practical this App is but then I dont have to break my head over it coz Im not the one making it. So now if only one of those software geeks reads this & takes it up seriously & also pays me royalties when the app is out…..